Let's speak English!

Ooops my bad For my defence, this incorrect form is often use in songs (and apparently in familiar American too).
But I guess I've got to apologize

mmmeysss...

That's this, that's this.... ( )

(Milyyyyy!!!! Help!!!!)

You can use Google Translation, it works fine...
at least for my text ^^
(I was amazed that it translates properly, it never happens ^^)

Blababla, mi tou aï kan spik ta mozer lang de con, I am just thinking about my new trad, Carla. She is a atomik bombe (je t'assure) i would fuck her but (i am déjà maqué) so i have to viré her bicoz in my mind that was so clair que j'allais cheat my girl. But dude here we are in métafor, it s just nonsens to parler like ziz (that was a very good man paradoxali) and i can confirm you ol spik anglais like dieu himself. And i fink (my english teacher dizé de prononcé like that) fink not think, and I (put the masjucule hir  règle ortoipo machin things) and I fink, what i am thinking already ?

ah, i no, i hav got a vénézuelien trad (she is enormous) really, 236 kilos (bad things for her) le salon de l'argiculture is in Paris. Yeah yeah, i am sober, and i want dire to you, se e possiblé (suis pas sûr) posso anché parlare italiano (un peu) perché nella mia mente (juste pour me la péter) c'é qualque (quelque) lingua (langue) ma l'ita... and if i go to fuck this white rabbit running on the roof of my zieu ?

Naughty boy Your rabbit (Let's call it Jefferson, it sounds good), have you at least ask his permission to fuck him ?
Or maybe you've drugged this poor little pet
Not cool, man

Hi everyone! I'm happy to rejoin you in this conversation. My english is not perfect, so don't hesitate to correct my mistakes .

Hi Ryusaki. Welcome !
I would use "join you" rather than "rejoin you" but I think anybody would understand anyway, so, it doesn't really matter.

Hey there Ryusaki!

As long as we understand each other, we can do any mistakes we want, right?

.

Hey kitty, would you stop following me anywhere I go?

Spoiler:

.

Just kiddin'

.

Hem... Well... eeeehhh... I'm not!
Are you?

.

Good. Keep on rockin' then

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ortolan a écrit:Me either Either am I, keep cool

You said I could

I would have said "me Neither" instead of "me Either".
What do you think sista?

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ortolan a écrit: Hmm, well... Could we pretend that it was deliberate, done on purpose to test if you would notice ? Oh please, pleaaase !

You rascal... How can I resist you

It depends. What did you try to tell us ?
"I am paranoïd too" -> "Either am I" (It a posh way to say "me too", it is rare, but I heard it a couple times, the best formulation would be "So am I")
"You are not paranoïd, and I am like you" -> "Me neither"

.

ortolan a écrit:

Tartiflette a écrit:How can I resist you

You're lovely

I know!

Spoiler:

Please, go on, but in the backroom, all this happiness makes me sick ^^

This is one of my favorite jokes :

The president of the United States of America has an argument with the New York Mayor. They want to know which one is the most efficient among New York Police Department, CIA and FBI.
They decide to make a contest. They take a rabbit, and throw it in a large forest, to see who brings the rabbit back the fastest. First runner up is FBI. They take eye witnesses, put them in custody, analyse fingerprints, put cameras everywhere in the forest, and after 8 full days, they come to the conclusion that there is no rabbit in the forest, with a probability of 99,99998%.
The President is not happy at all and hopes the CIA will do better. They set the forest into fire, pick the bones, make analysis, and declare that it is a plot, and no rabbit has ever lived in this forest.
The NY Mayor is really confident. He blows in his fingers, and to big fat ugly NYPD agents, on stéroïds, with billysticks and guns, run into the forest. After five minutes, they are out, holding a bear, and beating the crap out of him.
After one minute or so, the bear falls onto his knees and yell : "Stop, please, stop, I confess, I'm a rabbit, I AM A RABBIT !"

Hilarious ^^ But more for the portrait of the different factions than for the conclusive punchline, to my eyes at least

.

A woman was standing in the crowded lift of a hotel.
A man got in and accidentally ellbowed her in the breast.
He said: "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tits, you'll forgive me."
The woman replied: "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 246."

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Lady Astor to Winston Churchill : Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Winston Churchill : My dear, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

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ortolan a écrit:That's the reason why I don't drink tea (and not married, you never know )

The day you'll find the one you'll change your mind

(maybe)

OutLoud a écrit:

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill : Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Winston Churchill : My dear, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

I'm a big fan of Churchill's quotes. He was incredibly funny!

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ortolan a écrit: Definitely maybe.

Until it happen, enjoy the morning glory ^^

Godzilla a écrit:

ortolan a écrit: Definitely maybe.

Until it happen, enjoy the morning glory ^^

Until this happens


If I may correct you

ortolan a écrit:

Tartiflette a écrit:The day you'll find the one you'll change your mind

(maybe)

I used to say "Wedding ? To young to die !" But I may change my mind, indeed. Maybe...

Definitely maybe.

Ok kitty. So maybe I'll marry you.

Wait. What? You didn't ask? Whoooopsy.  

.

Would I learn to shut my big mouth one day...?  
(Magic 8 ball says: definitely not.)

OK. Hem... There's no easy way to say that. Hem. Kitty? I was, hem.. kiddin'. Hem.


But the song is great!

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ortolan a écrit:Read this:  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2643850/Does-pet-reveal-INTELLIGENCE-Cat-lovers-smarter-dog-owners-study-claims.html

Yeah, I read that before!  Thing is, I do love dogs too.  Hem...  What to do, what to do...  

D'you think I should marry both cat AND dog?  

ortolan a écrit:Eh, don't feel bad about that. I'm even flattered that I please someone. I'm touched when someone unveils a piece of heart, just like when a woman unveils a piece of ...  What am I saying ? Well, I just mean I'm not out of feelings.

I don't feel bad, it was just a (bad) big joke

ortolan a écrit:(if it can help you, I'm one of those nasty smokers)

Erh.  That's a big no-no for me  Ok, so no marriage. Done! Phew, what a relief!

(I'm LOL right now, thinking about the others wondering "are they serious?")

You're so cute chasing and teasing each other like teenagers !

.

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Had I been lazier, I wouldn't have stopped here. I wish I were though. I've promised to never talk to any French in English. However, let's consider I won't find in written English what I am used to avoiding when speaking English with French.

Let me share an awful video to point out what I mean...

ortolan a écrit:

Tartiflette a écrit:I do love dogs too.

That means you are someone loyal and respectful with the law(s).

Uh... No, I think it only means I love puppies too  

Well, if we start wondering whether the others wonder or what they think, believe, say or do, then we're not over yet. I use to say "never care for what they say, never care for games they play, never care for what they do, never care for what they know" (yeah-yeah + solo)

Don't give a damn about what they think.  
Just sayin' it's funny to think they think that we think... Hem. Wait. Where am I going with this marmelade  

ortolan a écrit:Are you saying that we have reached the kawaiiness ?

Kawaïness point!

All that "bullshit" (very kawai and funny, anyway ^^) makes me sad. I love great Hollywoodian love story
(well I prefer "Bridget Jones" actually but who cares ^^)

See what you've done kitty?
Now the lizzard is crying because of you!